What Keeps Me from Growing (4 of 10) - Gossip

Gossip is so woven into our lives that sometimes we barely recognize it as it damages and destroys everything in its path. So, how do we stop it? Today we look at the definition, the cause and the cure for gossip.

 

How to Recognize Gossip

1. Be concerned when you hear “secret information” being circulated or if you hear anyone else’s name being used in a conversation connected with that information. Gossip exists whenever persons “talk about others” in less than a favourable way.
2. Gossip often masquerades as “concern” for others.
   You know how it goes. “I hate to say anything about this to you, but I’m ‘concerned’ about so and so.”
3. Sometimes a gossiper will seek you out as their “confidante,” someone to unload on about their “heavy heart” for another person.
   They say to you. “I’m very troubled about so and so and I don’t know who else to talk to about it.” In reality, gossips are only interested in talking about people’s problems, not solving them. Proverbs 16:28 says, “A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.”
4. A gossip thrives on the negative, the secretive and the sensational.
   Any person who is genuinely concerned about solving a problem will do the biblical thing. They will go to the person privately and confront them with their concern. Or they will go privately to their pastor so he can confront the person. If they come to you, it’s likely gossip and not a concern.
5. In church, gossip is often passed along as a prayer request.
   Church prayer meetings usually follow pretty much the same format. The leader asks for prayer requests and then members share them with others. Where the gossip occurs is when someone is having a potentially embarrassing personal hardship and has confided in one of the church members with a prayer request. That church member then airs this person’s “dirty laundry” (or their private pain) to others present under the guise of requesting prayer. Well, prayer is needed, but giving juicy, specific, intimate details that you were told in confidence is not needed. Even if couched in spirituality, it is still gossip.

How Do You Know Whether You Are Gossiping?

When you are telling a story or sharing information about someone else, ask yourself these five questions:

1. How certain am I that the facts are correct?
2. Was the information given in confidence?
3. Have I checked the facts with the person involved?
4. Am I telling this story to help build up others in Christ Jesus?
5. Could I share this information with the Lord Jesus; would He be happy to hear it?

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29).

Seven Things to Remember from the Bible about Gossip

1. Gossip is as sinful as murder and will suffer the same consequences unless there is repentance (Romans 1:32).
2. God holds you accountable for your words (Matthew 12:36-37).
3. The person who gossips to you about others, also gossips to others about you.
4. Gossip & slander disqualify you for spiritual leadership (1 Timothy 3:11; James. 3:2).
5. Gossip often thrives upon secrecy. Where secrecy is removed, gossip is hampered.
6. Gossip always contributes to a problem but never to a solution.
7. Gossip always distorts and exaggerates and is never a reliable source of truth.

Gossip Poem (Author unknown)

My name is Gossip.
I am a direct descendant of the father of lies.
I have no respect for justice.
I maim without killing.
I break hearts and ruin lives.
I am cunning and malicious and I gather strength with age.
The more I am quoted, the more I am believed.
My victims are helpless. They cannot protect themselves against me because I have no name and no face.

To track me down is impossible. The harder you try, the more elusive I become.
I am nobody’s friend.
Once I tarnish a reputation, it is never the same.
I topple governments and wreck marriages.
I ruin careers and cause sleepless nights, heartaches, and indigestion.
I make innocent people cry in their pillows.
I make headlines and headaches.
Even my name hisses. I am called Gossip.

 

A BAKER’S DOZEN OF VERSES ABOUT GOSSIP

1. Proverbs 11:13 “Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered.”
2. Proverbs 16:28 “A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.”
3. Proverbs 20:19 “Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a simple babbler.”
4. Proverbs 6:16-19 “There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.”
5. Proverbs 26:20 “For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarrelling ceases.”
6. 1 Timothy 5:13 “Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not.”
7. Leviticus 19:16 “You shall not go around as a slanderer among your people, and you shall not stand up against the life of your neighbor: I am the Lord.”
8. Romans 1:29 “They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips.”
9. Proverbs 10:18 “The one who conceals hatred has lying lips, and whoever utters slander is a fool.”
10. Exodus 20:16 “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.”
11. Proverbs 26:22 “The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body.”
12. 2 Corinthians 12:20 “For I fear that perhaps when I come I may find you not as I wish, and that you may find me not as you wish—that perhaps there may be quarreling, jealousy, anger, hostility, slander, gossip, conceit, and disorder.”
13. 1 Timothy 5:12-14 “And so incur condemnation for having abandoned their former faith. Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not. So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander.”